So, what is new since last time…(yes I know, I am not the most prolific blogger). I have a new job. Not the one which was miles away but was a pretty good job, one closer to me and finally being an IT support Role. I wanted to get into IT for a while and hopefully this is my first baby-step into the realms of geek-dom. It is only a 6-month contract, but for now that suits me just fine, we will see what happens afterwards. It is relatively local (30 mins drive by car – in London that counts as just round the corner) and the working hours were what I wanted, although now everything is up in the air again. It is 24/7 shift, the boring 4-on-4-off pattern. Now don’t get me wrong, I love shift work. 12-hour shifts mean I will be spending the same amount of hours in the office as the 9-5s, but over less days. That can only be a good thing. I don’t mind working, and when I am in the office, I like to work hard, but I also love my off-time. Shift work always seems to get the life-work-balance right (12-hour shifts that is. I had a job where they tried to cover 24/7 with 8-hour-shifts and that was awful, the worst of both worlds !)
So, where is the problem ? Well, you might have guessed it – OH. He is running on a drinking-bender again and I just cannot take it anymore. We are so short of money, I am currently trying to play dodge the bailiff. He spends every spare penny he has down the pub. He does give me a monthly amount towards the bills, but according to him, everything else is my problem. The rest of his money is his to do with as he likes. Now that sounds fine, if you are a student and don’t live with your GF, but here it is grating and driving me up the wall. Especially as he is a pain in the neck when he is drunk. I will have to stay up half the night listening to him talking crap which is slurred so much I don’t understand anyway. Do I want to do that ? No. Do I get a choice ? No. Not only will he follow me wherever I go, so I cannot escape his rantings, he is also prone to peeing on the floor when drunk, pretty much wherever he stands when the need arrives, sometimes against a wall or a shelf. So I need to be quick on my feet to steer him towards some more suitable locations (I have been known to lock him out into the garden, but then he starts annoying the neighbours). I have been talking to his mum, as I really don’t know what to do with him anymore, but she didn’t know either. She said to sit him down when sober to talk about it, which was the plan for tonight. Last time he was drunk out of his head was last Saturday and it took me until today to get over it. So I thought we’d have a nice evening in and talk about it, but he hasn’t come back from College, so he is obviously out drinking again.
I really cannot take this anymore. I am tired of it. But if I want to take this new job, I kind of have to keep him around as I cannot work a nightshift and leave the child alone at home. Her dad cannot help as he works nights himself, but I will speak to him to see if maybe his GF could help out. She, apparently, is a bit of a nutter herself, but her and DD get on well, so it could work. At least she doesn’t drink.
That’s the other thing, even if I do not throw OH out (and he does deserve it), I cannot trust him to be sober to look after DD when I am off at work. So there isn’t really much point on relying on him anyway. Ok, DD is old enough to look after herself and only needs an adult in the house as she refuses to stay by herself (she is 14), but she shouldn’t have to cope with a drunk adult. I guess I don’t have a choice, he will have to go. He is lovely when he is sober, but his drunken escapades are getting so much, I don’t get enough time to recover in between anymore and it’s dragging me down.
Started something
Thought could be fun
Started something
Couldn't go on
Danger, heartache
I always knew
There's no winner
In this game you lose
But I still want to know
How she got in the door
Uninvited
Oh, oh, oh, I've gotta rocket
Oh, oh, oh, you're going on it
Oh, oh, oh, you're never coming back
Cliches, secrets
Stories unfold
Fooled by a passion
Losing control
Danger, heartache
Something has died
No good pretending
I'm leaving this time
But I still want to know
How she got in the door
Uninvited
Oh, oh, oh, I got a rocket
Oh, oh, oh, you're going on it
Oh, oh, oh, you're never coming back
Goldfrapp - Rocket
