I need my head examined

2011-06-27T11:04:00.001-07:00

Ok, nothing quite so dramatic – but I decided to give up smoking. Actually that’s wrong. I decided to stop smoking. I have been reading the Easyway Book and I am trying to convince myself that I am not giving up anything, as cigarettes do not give me anything, and therefore I am merely stopping to smoke.

Cravings have been bearable today, although I have a severe case of the munchies and am starting to feel slightly sick now from eating too much. I have found that drinking ice cold water helps quite a bit when my lungs get confused and wonder where the next tar coating is coming from. I have felt dizzy a couple of times as well today, similar to breathing too hard when blowing up a balloon. I guess my body is just not used to all this oxygen.

I do catch myself on planning my next cigarette before I realize that I no longer smoke. That is quite annoying. But it’s to be expected, habits just need to be broken and formed into something else. I am also slightly fidgety and find it difficult to concentrate.

It’s only day one, and I am already whingeing for England!! Early night tonight me thinks…

I have AAADD Disorder

2010-11-24T22:41:00.001-08:00

AAADD

KNOW THE SYMPTOMS......PLEASE READ!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.

Somehow I feel better even though I have it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A..D.D. -

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,

I notice mail on the porch table that

I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,

put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,

and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back

on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,

since I'm going to be near the mailbox

when I take out the garbage anyway,

I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,

and see that there is only one check left..

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,

so I go inside the house to my desk where

I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks,

but first I need to push the Pepsi aside

so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm,

and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,

a vase of flowers on the counter

catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and

discover my reading glasses that

I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,

but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,

fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,

I'll be looking for

the remote,

but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,

so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,

but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,

but quite a bit of it spills on the floor..

So, I set the remote back on the table,

get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to

remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed

the bills aren't paid

there is a warm can of

Pepsi sitting on the counter

the flowers don't have enough water,

there is still only 1 check in my check book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,

and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,

and I'll try to get some help for it,

but first I'll check my e-mail.....

Do me a favour.

Forward this message to everyone you know,

because I don't remember who the heck I've sent it

to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

Testing

2010-11-07T01:16:00.000-08:00

I am just trying to see if this new function works the way it should. Hopefully I can soon write to this blog from anywhere and I won’t be absent for so long again.

2010-11-06T13:10:00.000-07:00

Well, long time no posting, but a least one of my plans has come into action and OH has left the building. He moved out in September. I did feel bad as I threw him out a week before his birthday, but there would have always been a reason for "not right now", so I just stuck to my guns. He has been back a couple of times, actually only just left after staying with us for 3 days, but it's getting less and less and I still like having him around in small doses and sober.

Now it is time to sort out my business. I did take the job I was talking about, so we have a little bit more money coming in, although not too much, as all my benefits were cut instead. Can't win in this country. Due to that, I will really really have to make this soap business work. I have been planning lots and lots of things and need to revamp my whole line-up and I want to change the way my stall looks as well. And I need to sit down and do some serious business planning, like proper on paper, so I can't keep changing my mind. Like about the fairs. I wasn't going to do markets and fairs any more, as they aren't really worth it, but I had so many invitations on the back of fairs I have done and they have become better and bigger (and more expensive) as well, so I decided I give them another year and see what happens. It is just difficult to fit them into my work schedule as I work 4 weekends in a row and then have 4 weekends off, so I cannot do any regular markets and I think to really make these work, I need to have regular market stalls. I am now mainly doing one-off events.

Next year I want to start doing home-spa-parties and corporate tables, as I am also off during the week a lot.

Well a lot of planning ahead of me and streamlining my offerings, then it's all go.

The postcard above is our goal this year (my darling daughter really is a big help)

2010-05-20T10:15:00.000-07:00

Have made a decision, at least in my head. Now trying to put it into action. I will get there, slowly but surely

2010-05-11T10:34:00.001-07:00

I really do need my head examined - why the hell to I stay with him ?

2010-05-05T12:41:00.000-07:00

Sorry Folks that I am a bit antisocial at the moment. I have a lot of stuff going through my head and will be back very soon.

And here we go again…

2010-04-01T11:41:00.001-07:00

So, what is new since last time…(yes I know, I am not the most prolific blogger). I have a new job. Not the one which was miles away but was a pretty good job, one closer to me and finally being an IT support Role. I wanted to get into IT for a while and hopefully this is my first baby-step into the realms of geek-dom. It is only a 6-month contract, but for now that suits me just fine, we will see what happens afterwards. It is relatively local (30 mins drive by car – in London that counts as just round the corner) and the working hours were what I wanted, although now everything is up in the air again. It is 24/7 shift, the boring 4-on-4-off pattern. Now don’t get me wrong, I love shift work. 12-hour shifts mean I will be spending the same amount of hours in the office as the 9-5s, but over less days. That can only be a good thing. I don’t mind working, and when I am in the office, I like to work hard, but I also love my off-time. Shift work always seems to get the life-work-balance right (12-hour shifts that is. I had a job where they tried to cover 24/7 with 8-hour-shifts and that was awful, the worst of both worlds !)

So, where is the problem ? Well, you might have guessed it – OH. He is running on a drinking-bender again and I just cannot take it anymore. We are so short of money, I am currently trying to play dodge the bailiff. He spends every spare penny he has down the pub. He does give me a monthly amount towards the bills, but according to him, everything else is my problem. The rest of his money is his to do with as he likes. Now that sounds fine, if you are a student and don’t live with your GF, but here it is grating and driving me up the wall. Especially as he is a pain in the neck when he is drunk. I will have to stay up half the night listening to him talking crap which is slurred so much I don’t understand anyway. Do I want to do that ? No. Do I get a choice ? No. Not only will he follow me wherever I go, so I cannot escape his rantings, he is also prone to peeing on the floor when drunk, pretty much wherever he stands when the need arrives, sometimes against a wall or a shelf. So I need to be quick on my feet to steer him towards some more suitable locations (I have been known to lock him out into the garden, but then he starts annoying the neighbours). I have been talking to his mum, as I really don’t know what to do with him anymore, but she didn’t know either. She said to sit him down when sober to talk about it, which was the plan for tonight. Last time he was drunk out of his head was last Saturday and it took me until today to get over it. So I thought we’d have a nice evening in and talk about it, but he hasn’t come back from College, so he is obviously out drinking again.

I really cannot take this anymore. I am tired of it. But if I want to take this new job, I kind of have to keep him around as I cannot work a nightshift and leave the child alone at home. Her dad cannot help as he works nights himself, but I will speak to him to see if maybe his GF could help out. She, apparently, is a bit of a nutter herself, but her and DD get on well, so it could work. At least she doesn’t drink.

That’s the other thing, even if I do not throw OH out (and he does deserve it), I cannot trust him to be sober to look after DD when I am off at work. So there isn’t really much point on relying on him anyway. Ok, DD is old enough to look after herself and only needs an adult in the house as she refuses to stay by herself (she is 14), but she shouldn’t have to cope with a drunk adult. I guess I don’t have a choice, he will have to go. He is lovely when he is sober, but his drunken escapades are getting so much, I don’t get enough time to recover in between anymore and it’s dragging me down.

Started something
Thought could be fun
Started something
Couldn't go on
Danger, heartache
I always knew
There's no winner
In this game you lose
But I still want to know
How she got in the door
Uninvited
Oh, oh, oh, I've gotta rocket
Oh, oh, oh, you're going on it
Oh, oh, oh, you're never coming back
Cliches, secrets
Stories unfold
Fooled by a passion
Losing control
Danger, heartache
Something has died
No good pretending
I'm leaving this time
But I still want to know
How she got in the door
Uninvited
Oh, oh, oh, I got a rocket
Oh, oh, oh, you're going on it
Oh, oh, oh, you're never coming back

Goldfrapp - Rocket

2010-03-14T14:45:00.001-07:00

Lazy Weekend

I was supposed to do so much this weekend, but the sun was shining and it has finally warmed up a bit (is spring really coming ??), so I just had a really lazy weekend.

I have a job interview tomorrow and I really do not know, if I should go or not...the location of the job is great, the payment is not and it doesn't necessarily sound like something I want to do. I have another interview on Wednesday for a job I would love to do, the payment is ok, but the location is pretty awful and it involves weekend work, which would badly interfere with my little soap empire. So I am very very torn. Not sure what to do. It also doesn't help that I am doing a temping job as Market Researcher again (now that's a job I truly hate, but bills need paying) and if I keep taking time off, they'll fire me. I have already booked wednesday off, but didn't find out about tomorrows interview until Friday and it was too late then.

I wish I had won the lottery over the weekend. I need to pay the bills, so cannot really afford to turn down interviews and the job does pay more than McD, it even pays more than Market Research (not very difficult), so I should really go for it. Arrgh - I will see how I feel in the morning.

2010-02-01T14:42:00.000-08:00

I just found this List on the Indie Business Blog and had to share it. It made me chuckle, especially as I think I am already half way through the list and the business hasn't even proper started off yet (4 more weeks - panic)

Here is the link to the original (I don't know how to do trackbacks, sorry)
Indie Business Blog - 99-small-business-mistakes-and-how-you-can-avoid-them

1. Relying on your son’s friend’s cousin’s father to design your website.
Nope, have to do that myself. Thankfully I have found Joomla as HTML and me are not compatible

2. Not getting some kind of smart phone.
Had one, hated it. I am back to basics and loving it - for everything else there is Netbooks

3. Using other people’s money without a plan to pay it back.
Guilty - long story but will hopefully be sorted soon (and wasn't related to the business)

4. Not delegating enough.
According to my teenager I am delegating far too much

5. Abandoning your email newsletter (or not launching one.)
umm - guilty, another thing to plan

6. Not exercising.
don't swear at me - I am far too cozy here

7. Resisting new technologies.
I hate smartphones ?

8. Expecting to receive before you give.
nope - cannnot say I've done that one

9. Burning bridges, then trying to rebuild them without an apology.
Burning Bridges, yes - rebuilding them ? Nope. Wouldn't have burnt them without a reason in the first place

10. Asking someone you barely know to be your mentor.
Does reading business-start-up-blogs fall under this ?

11. Trying to get rich quick.
Of course - thats why I play the lottery every week. Can't fault a girl for trying.

12. Talking about what you’re going to do instead of doing it.
oh yes - that's me down to a tee. But have a plan and need to stick to it, soon...

13. Constantly comparing yourself to your competitors.
I am, but with a smile and a "One day I will be there as well". I admire at least some of my competitors and see them as an inspiration

14. Being a poor follower.
I follow everyone and anyone, I do anything to avoid doing any "real" work

15. Letting cobwebs grow on your blog.
ok - I do, sorry. But it really isn't that interesting to blog about my cat's flea treatment or last night's dinner. Some of us just have a boring life, ok ? ;-))

16. Not giving your blog enough time to “catch on.”
Oh I've given it time...wonder if anyone will come back with flea treatment tips...

17. Complaining and whining.
yup - sometimes, especially when grocery shopping...I hate it

18. Bad mouthing your competitors.
I try not to, see point 13

19. Not participating at other people’s blogs.
Not guilty, I do

20. Asking for help before you’ve done some legwork of your own.
yes, sometimes I am lazy and "forget" there is a search-button on most Forums...

21. Giving when you cannot afford to give.
But the guy's dog was cute and he looked like he needed a cup of coffee

22. Automating too much of your social media outreach.
You can automate it ??? Please don't tell me I need a smartphone for that ?

23. Expecting your use of social media to perform miracles for you.
Everyone needs miracles...maybe I need to move to 34th street

24. Buying or hiring without comparing pricing and offers.
Not guilty - supply-shopping would be so much faster, if I wouldn't check at least 15 sites for each article and then work out shipping costs...

25. Not learning HTML.
I tried - honest, we are not compatible. But thank the geeks, there is Joomla. I am finally on the way to a website

26. Using your logo or pet ferret (or cat or dog or goldfish) as your avatar.
Guilty, guilty and guilty (but my Apistogramma was a real beauty)

27. Doing things because you said you would do them, even when they don’t work.
Nope - don't see the point...

28. Taking stupid chances.
I don't do Rollercoasters...too scared...

29. Failing to distinguish between what your business needs and what it (or you) wants.
Oh yes, but I always talk myself round and say I did need it...

30. Not creating and using a Twitter account.
Doing both

31. Spending too much money.
Don't we all ? I buy "Extra Value", that does mean I can buy twice as much, doesn't it ??

32. Not spending enough money.
Nope - not guilty

33. Not setting basic work hours.
Basic work hours ? I am glad to be out of the 9-5, I love having erratic work hours (maybe that's why I always loved working shifts)

34. Forgetting to say, “please” and “thank you.”
Sorry - I do. I am working on it

35. Passing the buck.
Noone to pass the buck to - I do ocasionally blame the cycle of the moon though..

36. Not understanding the laws that affect your business.
Not an option in my business

37. Not laughing at yourself.
Not guilty - as you can see from this blog entry

38. Underpricing your products and services.
No way (I hope)

39. Thinking that all you need to be successful is a good idea.
Isn't it ?

40. Maintaining non-performing employees because you like them as people.
Hmm - got no employees, but the OH is still here...(actually he did text over xmas, but my phone didn't receive the message until 5 days later)

41. Being a bit too easily offended.
Nope - definitley NOT guilty. Quite the opposite, I don't get the hint sometimes

42. Not using YouTube because you don’t like how your hair looks.
or my face, my shoulders and my neck...No Youtube from me for a while yet

43. Analysis paralysis.
Not sure what that is ?

44. Doing things when you feel like doing them instead of creating systems.
yes, guilty as charged, I thought that's the point of being self-employed ? (Tax Office may disagree)

45. Thinking people will buy your products just because they are great.
They don't ??????????

46. Requesting social connections and endorsements from people who don’t know you.
But I know them, is that not enough ?

47. Putting your smart phone in the washing machine.
Thankfully it was a cheap Nokia at the time, but it would have been a deserved death for my Smartphone - mine made close contact with my Office-Wall instead...

48. Going to a pot luck dinner empty-handed.
My local Kebab shop doesn't expect me to bring anything ? But it is pot luck what's in the meat

49. Believing there is any such thing as an overnight success.
There isn't ? But X-Factor and Big Brother tell us there is ??? It must be true...

50. Lowering your prices because of a poor economy.
Nope, not yet

51. Not MasterMinding.
I am blonde, this sounds scary..

52. Failing to ask for the sale.
Guilty - I suck at sales...Something I definitley need to work on

53. Committing before you know what’s involved.
That's called a marriage ?? (you think you know...)

54. Not standing up for yourself.
Not guilty - ever

55. Being mean.
I try not to be, unless you are a cold caller from India. Sometimes I just sound mean, as I have a German Accent (shame that the cold callers don't get this though)

56. Trying to kill too many birds with one stone.
I got a cat for that

57. Not killing enough birds with one stone.
He usually misses

58. Not introducing yourself.
Before or after the cigarette ?

59. Mistaking “hobbying” for being in business.
Guilty, but getting there

60. Failing to accept your position as a publisher.
Not sure I understand that

61. Not opening a business bank account.
Can't too expensive for now, banks are mean

62. Not consulting an accountant.
I wish my business was accountancy - they charge a fortune !

63. Not getting help with the kids.
More like not getting the kids to help enough ;-)

64. Not scheduling regular business hours.
I am strictly a non 9-5 girl.

65. Not celebrating small victories.
The hangovers are a killer though

66. Giving up.
No chance

67. Not giving up.
I know I should, but I am allergic to Nicotice patches

68. Going to a pot luck dinner empty-handed.
He does expect me to pay..

69. Diluting your brand with Google ads.
Can't afford them (phew)

70. Thinking that doing nothing is not making a decision.
Doing nothing is like playing dead

71. Not tooting your horn.
toot toot - need to do that more, but scared of boring people to death

72. Failing to nurture connections in your own back yard.
I have a familiy of Foxes and at least 4 stray cats there...might have to do a fundraiser for the RSPCA...

73. Going to a pot luck dinner empty-handed.
lol

74. Trying to be someone you are not.
I do try to be posh and sophisticated, but I fail every time...I should give up and be scruffy old me, I guess

75. Not listening.
Huh ? You said ?

76. Trying to be all things to all people.
Isn't that what all mums do ?

77. Believing that there is no power greater than yourself.
Ask my OH - there isn't ;-)

78. Not carving out specific areas of expertise that you are known for.
Swearing in 4 different languages ?

79. Not admitting your mistakes.
Not guilty, I hope

80. Inappropriate use of Flash technology.
Lol, I am too old for that

81. Not sharing.
The Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough is mine....get your own ;-)

82. Not calendaring.
I do, but then ignore the reminders

83. Not planning.
see above

84. Not setting priorities and non-negotiables.
Mum of a Teenager - this point is NOT optional !

85. Small thinking.
Never, I already think I am as big as McD, just surprised that the people down the road have never heard of me, they need to get out more ;-)

86. Having a “launch and lunch” mentality.
Lunch ? Someone said lunch break ??

87. Being too hard on yourself.
Otherwise I'd never get out of bed before midday

88. Not learning from your mistakes.
Hopefully not guilty

89. Not setting up the best profile page possible.
One day I will get my head around HTML

90. Thinking that social media is just idle chatter.
Tweet... ;-)

91. Thinking you don’t have enough time.
More like thinking "I have loads of time....and then panicking"

92. Failing to include your spouse or significant other in your business.
I try, but apparently it's illegal to make soap from human fat ;-)

93. Not blogging.
Sorry for not blogging often enough

94. Semi-spamming people.
There is a semi-spamming ?

95. Not exposing yourself.
See point 80..

96. Not using spell check.
Guilty

97. Taking on work you hate or are not qualified to do in order to get work you like.
Bills need paying...

98. Not giving credit where credit is due.
I hope not, but if I have forgotten anyone, please say and I will correct it

99. Sending the one type of email message that is worse than spam.
There are worse things than Spam ??????????

2009-12-25T03:09:00.000-08:00

Hello All and a Merry Christmas. I am in Germany, so we already had all of our presents last night. My daughter got a new Netbook, so the PC is back in my hands. It was a very quiet christmas, which is nice. Everything is closed here in Germany until Monday, it feels a lot more like a holiday.
The BF seems to have forgotten about me, not even a text for xmas, so I think it's finally time to forget about him. DD and me had such a nice time together, no arguments, noone complaining about things, I am dreading going home.
Ok, time to go and watch the pope delivering his xmas message, no queen's speech for me this year...
Have a nice time and enjoy the holidays

2009-11-17T06:55:00.000-08:00

Yay some more fragrance oils have arrived and I am slowly making my way round website coding, so hopefully soon we will have a working website and new goodies. I need to get started making lotions, my next challenge as they would go so nice with soaps and I think I want to start experimenting with natural surfactants as Liquid soap doesn't really work for bubble baths.

Having a lazy day today, but sorting out the rest of the house tomorrow and then back to making cosmetics. Can't wait !!! But I promised myself that I will sort out the house first before I do anything else. As xmas season is nearly over (as far as selling things goes) I will be working on Valentines / Mother's day to be fully up and running. That seems a lot less stressful rather than rushing something along right now which may not really look the way I want it to. I am still really unsure about packaging. I keep changing my mind about the company colours and the way to wrap my soap and label the other things. I see so many good designs where I like this or that about and then I look at my lables and feel they don't look good enough. Does anyone else get that ?

The BF is working at the moment. This is so nice, I get the house to myself. It's only voluntary work, so no riches for us yet, but it keeps him out of my hair, which means he is less likely to get killed, which is a good thing, I guess.

2009-10-22T13:40:00.000-07:00

yeah, of course it couldn't last. He is back to sitting on the sofa, putting his feet up (with his shoes on !!!) and I am back to coming home from work and spending the rest of the evening cooking, cleaning and doing general housework. I know it's a hard life to sit in front of the TV all day but at least a bit of effort isn't too much to ask ???

Apparently it's all my fault as I didn't cook the last 3 days when I was at home with a cold lying flat out in bed with every single bone hurting and generally feeling totally washed out. I am really getting fed up here.

2009-10-18T13:37:00.000-07:00

Hello all

we have finally moved house. The new place is absolutely georgeous and we are slowly settling in. Way too much stuff is still in various boxes and the kitchen is in chaos as we ran out of moving boxes and ended up just emptying things everywhere we could find a space. So currently the pepper is between the plates and the olive oil was found hiding behind the salad bowls. We are still re-arranging our kitchen-gadgets, as soon as they have found a permanent place we can move the rest of the things around.

I have finally managed to find most of my clothes which is a good thing, I got a bit bored with one pair of work-trousers and one pair of jeans. I really hate moving house and hope we will stay here for a long time.

I am now on a cooking-strike. I am fed up with working (evne though it's only a 6-hour-day) and then coming home to housework, cooking and cleaning while the BF sits at home all day doing nothing. I showed him where the cleaning stuff is, what a dust bunny looks like and I have placed the cook-books on a living room shelf, next to the TV, so he can't miss them. If he wants to eat, he will have to cook. Well, that worked until his mum gave him about 100 pot-noodles as a moving-in-present. Grrrr.....But, I have to say, so far we had lovely dinner every evening. I am hoping it will last as my patience is really wearing thin by now.

I took some photos of our lovely garden today, but completley forgot that I don't yet have a graphics program installed on my PC. Not usually a problem, but all my software CDs are ina box somewhere, and I can't be asked to go and find them. They could be anywhere !!! So I decided to download Gimp. With a 10meg connection, much faster than finding my PSP CD. But I am struggling. I can't get it to do what I want when I want and it takes me ages to do even simple tasks. I guess rooting round the boxes it is...

I gotta go, as I have some soap to pack for a Halloween swap and as a samle thingie at work tomorrow. I can't find the lipbalms, so they will have to wait and I still need to work on my website and get my head round Dreamweaver. Sigh, will the geeky stuff never stop ???

2009-09-19T11:13:00.001-07:00

ok, I haven't posted for a while. Things are up and down as usual. We are trying to move house and things are going wrong at every corner. This is why there hasn't been any news for a while. As soon as we have settled in the new place I will be posting more regularly, promise ! But for now, everytime I post something it is old news a couple of minutes later and it would far too confusing to keep up with the inns and outs of our local council's housing department.

But I felt I had to post something today. I accidentially stumbled accross a website promoting greem living and thought I'd find some interesting articles on there. Interesting they may have been, but they contain so much pseudo-science and scaremongering against the "cosmetic giants", that it caused me to write them a lengthy email and shout at my poor monitor. The cat has decided to sleep outside now and the OH has gone for a walk in the park until I finished ranting, lol.

Here is a copy of my email. I will break it up into chunks, as it is rather long and I don't want you all to fall asleep while reading it. Feel free to comment, I may have gotten some things wrong myself...

From: Sabine Haller [mailto:sabine@blueyonder.co.uk]
Sent: 19 September 2009 18:55
To: 'laura@theecologist.org'
Subject: Articles on your website

Hello Laura

I came across your website while surfing the net and got stuck on some very interesting articles, or so I thought. I am a maker of natural cosmetics (100% Natural and Natural with synthetic Fragrance oils). Initially I thought the articles on your site contained a whole load of information I can use to explain to my customers why natural cosmetics are better than industrial ones, but the more I read, the more I just wanted to scream at my monitor as a lot of these articles are based on scare-science and badly worded explanations to run down major cosmetic manufacturers. Not something I would like to be associated with and the reason for not registering on your website and simply commenting on each article.

Yes, there are some valid points but I would have to research each point again due the fact that so many other arguments are so badly misleading.

In your articles you make many recommendations for alternative products. If you would like to promote truly natural cosmetic products and help small UK businesses, can I point you to this website http://www.soapmakers.eu/ ? Not all makers are certified organic, but all make natural cosmetics, avoiding petroleum based oils. Some have palm-free products, most avoid Parabens and PEG emulsifiers (not all, but each supplier has a small statement, so you can check this first)

I don’t make any money from this, but it irks me when you only promote the large pseudo-naturals in your recommendations. Most of these manufacturers are no different to P&G or L’Oreal and are neither based in the UK, nor make their products in the UK, so adding to the carbon footprint.

Behind the label: Listerine teeth and gum defence (click on this to read the whole article)

Argument: Long-term use of alcohol-containing mouthwashes dries and changes the pH of the mouth and throat and is associated with an increased risk of mouth and throat cancers.
Question: What is constituted as long-term use ? Where is a link to this study ? Mouthwash is in your mouth for about 1 minute (if you can stand it that long). How about the effects of drinking alcohol ? Does Mouthwash contain some other alcohol than for example Vodka ?

Argument: Flavourings and aromas are basically perfumes. At best they mask odour temporarily; and since they are composed of volatile solvents, they can also alter the basic flora of the mouth in the same way as alcohol and may cause dermatitis around the mouth
Question: Flavourings and aromas are actually not perfumes. They made by strict guidelines and have been tested to make sure they are safe to be ingested. This is also an INCI label and therefore aroma could also stand for essential oils, which are anything but synthetic. Large manufacturers sometimes call Essential Oil blends “aroma” if they don’t want to give away their formula. These are not volatile solvents (some do damage certain plastics, but none can be used as paintstripper).

Argument: methyl salicylate (oil of wintergreen), eucalyptol (oil of eucalyptus) and thymol – even if they are naturally derived – are also highly toxic. Just 10ml of methyl salicylate can poison a child; 30ml can poison an adult.
Question: Of course they can be toxic. Even water is toxic in large enough amounts. 30ml of a pure essential oil is quite a large amount. Most essential oils are actually toxic if ingested and apart from a few, none of them should ever be placed on the skin undiluted. Thymol (well, thymian) has been used to treat teeth problems for a long time. It’s made from Essential Oil of Thymian and has strong antiseptic properties. From Wikipeda: The Blackfeet Native Americans recognized this plant's strong antiseptic action, and used poultices of the plant for skin infections and minor wounds. A tea made from the plant was also used to treat mouth and throat infections caused by dental caries and gingivitis.[4] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thymol) Nowhere in the Wikipeda article does it mention that this substance is toxic, although I am sure if ingested in large enough amounts it can be damaging, as everything else.

Argument: In addition, bright colours and nice smells mean that children find mouthwashes so intriguing that each year hundreds accidentally get smashed on as little as two ounces. So do adults; earlier this year an American woman was arrested for drunk driving after drinking three glasses of Listerine.
Question: I doubt it is 2 ounces and a responsible parent keeps things like that away from toddlers. Just like cleaners. Hundreds get “smashed” then ? Apart from the fact that this should teach them not to drink it again, 100s of what ? American children ? Worldwide ? That doesn’t seem to be a very large number to be honest. It’s not like it tastes very nice…And if someone really wants to get drunk on Listerine then I would say “each to their own”, Vodka is cheaper and tastes better.

Now the ingredient analysys:

Alcohol > Antiseptic, antibacterial > Dries and denatures mucous membranes in the mouth; changes mouth and throat pH; promotes mouth and throat cancer. –>> as above, what about drinking alcohol ? Were these tests done with pure alcohol or the concentration found in mouthwash ?

Sorbitol > Sweetener, tartar control agent > Mostly safe, but if swallowed can cause bloating, diarrhoea. –>> Mouthwash is not supposed to be swallowed and bloating and diarrhoea are common side effects of all sugar alcohols if consumed in excess ! The small amount of sorbitol contained in a swig of mouthwash won’t trigger Montezuma’s Revenge.

Aroma > Fragrance > Perfume by another name, composed mostly of solvents; drying to the mouth and potentially neurotoxic; allergic reactions may mimic common dental problems such as bleeding gums, mouth ulcers, gingivitis. – >>No, aroma is not the same as perfume. Some don’t even smell like they taste. Which aromas are neurotoxic ? And are these actually in this product ? If someone is allergic to an aroma / essential oil then they should obviously avoid it. Common sense really. Like not eating peanuts if allergic. But I see no warning messages on peanuts informing me I could die from eating them.

Sodium saccharin > Sweetener > Carcinogenic – linked to bladder cancer in animals. Banned in US –>> and declared safe in Canada and Europe. Saccharin has been around for quite a long time as is deemed safer than aspartame. I am glad to know that it is linked to bladder cancer in animals, but which animals, how much did they consume over what period and have any studies ever proven an increase in Bladder Cancer in humans ? There is no link to a reliable study.

Eucalyptol (Oil of Eucalyptus) > Fragrance, antiseptic > Allergic skin, nose and eye reactions, inhalation may trigger asthma; vocal cord dysfunction in sensitive individuals. Ingestion can cause vomiting, stomach pains, seizures, abnormal heart rhythms, bleeding, coma and death. –>> “Sensitive individuals” – yes if you are allergic to Eucalyptus it would probably be a bad idea to use this mouthwash. Doh. It CAN cause vomiting etc. That doesn’t mean that it will, and this is the warning label for undiluted Essential Oil. If ingested undiluted and in large enough amounts it will cause death…That’s why people need to learn about Essential Oils before using them. Mouthwash will not contain undiluted Eucalyptus Oil. And not even enough of it in a whole bottle to cause these symptoms, although there is a warning label on the back advising people against glugging it down like Gin.

Methyl salicylate (oil of wintergreen) > Fragrance, antiseptic > Respiratory tract, skin and eye irritation; allergic reactions; small ingested amounts are fatal to young children; may cause reactions in aspirin-sensitive people. – Again no mention about how much needs to be ingested to cause these symptoms and people who are allergic to aspirin would know what else they need to look out for. “Small ingested amounts”, what is classified as small here ? 1ml ? 250ml ? 0.5ml ? And how much of this is actually in a whole bottle ?

More tomorrow
Cheers
Sabine

2009-06-09T18:14:00.000-07:00

Yay - I have finally gotten myself into gear and managed to book all my Safety Assessments today, booked a soap workshop place and registered my domain name. Things are slowly moving.

I am still not happy with my logo though. It needs work and I can't seem to find anyone who would give me a certificate which uses lard as a soap ingredient. This is just stupid. Because some cows had BSE some 10 years back, I cannot make soap with Pig Fat. But everyone can buy pig fat to cook and eat with. This is just wrong, wrong, wrong. If it is not safe for soapmaking, how can it be safe to eat ?????

Anyways, off to bed and shopping for supplies tomorrow. Then I can make soap and other goodies.

2009-05-13T09:23:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not posting for a while. I literally had the floor pulled out from under my feet.

On the same weekend that I found out that my landlady has cancelled our rental contract I found out that I have been made redundant. This sent me into a spin of "rabbit in the headlights" and I am only just slowly coming out of it. Apparently a letter was sent to us in February (not recorded delivery) to cancel our rental contract by the 12th of May. I never recived that letter so when I found out we had less than 4 weeks to find a new place.

We managed to find one and were supposed to be moving in last weekend, but today I found out that it has fallen through. We have now overstayed our welcome here by 2 days and have nowhere to go. Thankfully, just before I went into hibernation to bury my head in the sand, I managed to grab an appointment with the housing officer here (apparently that was extremley lucky as they usually have a 3-month waiting-list) and I will see them tomorrow. As I am now job-less and there doesn't seem to be anything out there either (sorry, working at McD is not beneath me, but just doesn't pay the bills), I may finally have a chance at a council place. I have been on the housing list as a single mum since 1996, but as I have always been stupid enough to find my own place (even when that meant getting into debt and working 2 jobs), I never ever managed to even slowly move to the top of the list and actually have moved down.

Only issue I have is my cat, as we would not be able to take him to B&B / Hostel accomodation if that is all they will offer us. I am hoping to be able to get him fostered by the cat's protection league. He is not a very social cat and tends to fight quite a bit and all the friends who would be able to take a cat already have one or more.

So now I have the difficult taks to tell my current landlady that we are not able to move out by Friday and they are threatening us with legal action which we will have to pay for (from what ? If I have no job, I can't pay ????)

I am very stressed out right now and frazzled. Sadly the BF and my daughter are having to suffer from it the most, but it is a very scary position to be in.

4 years ago, I owned my own home and holidayed abroad 3-4 times a year, now the cardboard box is looming. I hate the credit crunch.....

I sit here content my thoughts and my feelings
Remembering who I used to be
The life I have now is much more appealing
No hurries no worries for me

A bench by the shore a coat for my pillow
A future with no guarantee
The world was a rat race and I had my fill oh
No hurries no worries for me

Homeless Happiness
My castle’s the stars and the sea
Homeless Happiness
If this door is freedom then I’ve found the key

Homeless Happiness by Madeleine Peyroux

2009-04-08T08:15:00.000-07:00

Thank you for the comments. Thankfully things have calmed down now. The girl who lost her mobile made a peace offering to my daughter and they no longer argue, but my daughter wont trust her anymore and has lost a friend. Still sad, but she has plenty of other girls to hang out with and funny enough, the other friends she has don't smoke or drink and seem to do well at school. So I am actually quite happy.

We have received the dreaded R word at work. I know 4 people from my department have to go. We are 52 in this department. But they wont tell us who goes and who stays until the 29th April. This is agony. This is like an extended Big Brother Nominations week. I can't relly make any plans until then and I am not sure if I should look for a new job or not. Am I safe ? I have no idea. From our department i have been with the company the longest. This may be a good thing, or it could backfire on me, as this means I am the highest earner due to previous annual pay-increases.
If they are not going to tell us until the 29th, why mention anything now ?? What is is with that stupid consultation period ? Consulting what ? The crystal ball ? I am sure they have already made up their mind who they want to see gone, so what's the point ? If I am one of the leavers what are they going to consult with me ? How high they are going to kick me out of the door ???

On the other hand I will get 18 weeks worth of pay, most of it tax free, so if it should happen, I think it's time to get the business off the ground and stop treating this as a hobby.

I made some more soap this week, and although it seized terribly on me, it ended up looking really good and smelly divine. Might try this again - croap soap inc....lol

2009-03-17T03:29:00.000-07:00

It is a mystery - I am stumped....and I don't know what to do....

Friday night my daughter Vic's best friend slept over. We were sitting on the sofa watching TV and the girls were giggling and playing around on their mobiles (typical 13-year-olds). We asked them to go to bed at 9:30pm. They got up, went to the kitchen for some night-time supplies (god I wish I still had their metabolism) and then into the bathroom to do their hair, go to the toilet and clean their teeth. My daughter decided to have a shower and wash her hair. While she was in the shower, her friend said she can't find her mobile. Vic was still in the shower and asked her to ring it from her phone. Her friend said it came back with "currently unavailable". She looked for it and when Vic came out of the shower they both started looking for it, but couldn't find it. They went to bed, thinking it would re-appear in the morning. The next morning, they looked everywhere, but no luck. They woke me up at 8:30am to help them look. I was working nights that day, so I would have normally had a lie-in, but no such luck - I was pestered into submission to help look for it. No luck. Her friend's mum came round and shouted at her daughter for losing a brand new mobile. I told her that I was going to do the spring cleaning this week and that I was sure it would turn up somewhere. She grumped and left - I assumed she was just angry at her daughter.

At about 11am the mum rings me and screeches at me that we are a family of thieves and that she is calling the police and how dare I not have finished the housework yet, when her daughter's phone was missing. Hello ? I had a 12-hour nightshift ahead of me and was woken up at 8:30 already.

BF and me decided to go on a mission to find the darn thing. We started in the kitchen - nothing. We looked under the fridge, inside the bins and every single drawer. Nada

Bathroom - not many places to hide things there and also no luck.

Daughter's bedroom - we took the place apart. Matress off the bed, every single drawer and box in there, the wardrobe, behind and under every shelf. Nothing. (and hell on earth must be a teenager's bedroom)

We checked the whole front room. Under the sofa, around the shelves, behind the TV - nothing.

Short of taking up the floorboards, we have searched the whole house. The phone is nowhere to be found.

Mum rings back at 4 and again threatens me with the police. I say, fell free to call them and send a sniffer dog round, but we cannot find this phone. No one has left the house, no one came round and there was nowhere left for my daughter to hide the phone, should she have taken it, which she was accused of. So mum now accuses me or the BF to have stolen it. WTF ??? It is a nice phone, but probably worth about £20 on the street (if I would know anyone who would buy it). Why would I want to steal it ? Of my daughter's best friend ???

My daughter is being treated like a criminal by us at the moment and she and her bags are searched everytime she leaves the house - I feel bad about it, but have explained to her that at least if the police comes round, I can confirm that Vic hasn't taken it out of the house. She is ok with it. (in a grumpy teenager kind of way). Thankfully she trusts me and doesn't feel too put out by me going through her pockets. She hasn't got anything to hide.

But I still don't understand the disappearing phone. The only person who did leave the house unchecked was Vic's best friend when she went home in the morning. But why would she claim that she had lost her mobile - she only had it for 2 weeks and it was the one she wanted ? And why do it round her best friend's house ?? My daughter has no reason to steal it, she has the phone she wants and doesn't even like that particular phone as it is a slider and she keeps breaking those.

The girls were together all evening - like typical 13-year-olds, glued together at the hips. The only time they were seperate was the 15 minutes while my daughter was in the shower and that was when her friend lost her phone. How can you lose a mobile between the kitchen and the bathroom ??? It's a Victorian Semi we live in, not a footballers mansion.

My BF and me were sitting on the sofa at the time and didn't move, other than to get more drinks from the kitchen.

Her mum claims she called the mobile operator and they said the last call received was at 9pm and at 10 past 10 that evening the phone was physically switched off and she insists that the phone was fully charged and had batteries left for another 3 days. My daughter says the phone was nearly empty when they were on the sofa, as they were taking photos of everything and generally played around with it. At 10 past 10 my daughter was in the shower, and my BF and me were sitting on the sofa. I know as I shouted that it was way past bedtime and that I would switch the hot water off at quarter past, if she wouldn't get a move on. And how come the call from my daughter's mobile to her friend's mobile never registered ?

Something really stinks here. Her friend now tells everyone at school that my daughter is a thief and no one talks to her anymore.

This is what is says on my daughter's facebook today:

Vickie wishes she was dead sometimes.

This makes me so sad. I don't know what to do and what the hell happened here......

Anyone got any ideas ????

No song either today - too freaked out

2009-02-14T18:22:00.000-08:00

It's half past 2 in the morning and I am on my 3rd coffee. I am off to germany in 10 minutes and it is a 10-hour-drive, but I wasn't able to sleep last night (too scared I might oversleep and miss the ferry). I hope the crossing isn't too rough, the shipping report didn't sound too promising (wind strength 4-5 with occasional gales of up to 7). BF assured me that this is not a smooth crossing. Yikes.

We have made up. I couldn't keep the snooping to myself and confronted him as soon as he woke up. He apologized and we had a long talk. I hope he meant it, all I have is his word, but I think he realized what he would be risking. He has been good since then. While we are away he will give up smoking, glad we are 600miles away. We should escape the worst of the grumpyness.

Maybe I will try as well. Parents are very forgiving ;-)

Looking forward to being spoilt by my parents for a week, will write when I come back (yummy german food and beer YAY)

Have fun soaping (my parents are getting a year's supply of my first soaps, lol)

Sabine

2009-02-08T05:40:00.000-08:00

Men - they should all be shot to the moon for a leper colony....but that would be an insult to Lepers.

Everythig seemed to go fine after BF moved back in. We are no longer arguing and are making a real effort to get along. He is talking babies and getting married. The drinking is still a problem, but he keeps it to the evenings now and he has finally admitted he has a problem, which I guess is the first step. He rarely gets nasty now when he drinks, so I can cope, although it's annoying.

So what's the problem ? While we were apart he met another woman. Not really a big deal as such, we did split up after all. But she is still calling him and he is still calling her back. Last night she called while we were on the sofa. He said she just doesn't give up and answered the call. After a while he left the room and closed the door to talk to her. Thats when I became suspsicious. It seemed wrong. If he has got nothing to hide, why can't he talk to her in front of me ?

I asked him about her and he said he just met her in a pub and they got chatting and she has been calling him ever since. She is married and he doesn't want anything from her, just likes talking to her. He didn't come to bed last night and when I got up this morning, his phone was out on the charger. I couldn't help myself, I had to look. Checked his text messages and there is was, in black and white. He texted her that he fancies her rotten and that he needs to know that she feels the same.

I can't believe it. The lying b*****. Now I don't know what to do. I can't really admit that I have seen the text, but also I can't let this go. I know he was drunk at the time, but thats no excuse.
I am hurt....

If I were Boy
I think I could understand
how it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cuz I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cuz he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

Its a little too late for you to come back
its just a mistake to think I'd forgive you like that
if you thought I would wait for you
you thought wrong

Beyonce, Just a boy

2009-01-20T05:35:00.000-08:00

YAY today is the day my BF moves back in with me.

I am just about to pop in the shower and then I am going to pick him up.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed living on my own, but it definitley doesn't beat waking up next to the person I love and falling asleep in someones arms. It will mean my blog postings become less frequent and that I will no longer be allowed to watch hours of car crash TV anymore, but I can live with that ;-)

No song, gotta rush - whistling "don't worry, be happy" though....

2009-01-15T16:01:00.000-08:00

oops, I have slipped on my blog. Sorry.

My excuse is that the BF was here last week and I had much better things to do than to sit at the PC ;-) We had a pretty good time, apart from a disasterous ending to a night out on Saturday and a massive hangover on Sunday. I have a massive bruise on my knee and I think I may have injured my ellbow. I am sure it will heal...

Made some nice soap on Saturday, my first try of Lard soap. Not that impressed yet, but it smells nice (Lavender & patchouli). It is nice and white, which makes a change from my usual orange (I can only find unrefined Palm Oil at the corner shop), but still a bit sticky and it took forever to harden. I think I may have soaped too cold and as the rain butt was frozen, I had to use tap water and it is covered in Ash. Somehow that makes it look quite good though...velvety white.

On the personal side of life, the BF and me had a nice talk on Tuesday and he is moving back in next week. YAY. Something good, at last. I missed him so much.

Child Benefit payments are late and I am broke, but I have my head full of recipes to make more soap. Hopefully I get paid before the BF moves in as I want to make him some Valentine's soap.
Maybe go begging to the bank tomorrow to see if I can get some money that way. I am good at grovelling and begging ;-)

No song today, can't think of any.

2009-01-04T18:47:00.000-08:00

Not much to write. I had a lazy weekend.

i cant lie, (i miss you much) watching everyday that goes by
til i get you back im gonna cry
cuz you're the apple of my eye

i want you fly with me
i miss how you lay with me me
just wish you could dine with me
the one that'll grind with me

i wanna make love right now na na na
i wanna make love right now na na na
wish we never broke up right now na na na
we need to link up right now na na na

2009-01-01T01:26:00.001-08:00

***** HAPPY NEW YEAR *****

2008-12-31T08:54:00.001-08:00

New Year's eve and I am working. This is just not fair.

I start working at 10pm and finish at 8am. I guess it will keep me out of trouble, but after having worked all of xmas it's really not something I am looking forward to. Life is not fair (performs toddler-tantrum)

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year

Cheers
Sabine

2008-12-29T09:26:00.000-08:00

ok - I admit it, I am not a real woman. I hate shopping !!!!

There must be something wrong with my wiring or something, but shopping gives me road rage. Yes I have joined the group on Facebook called " I secretly want to hit slow walking people" but even with this support group a day in town leaves me absolutley exhausted, and not in a nice way.

Went to Robert Dyas to get the rest of the stuff for soap making and some other bits and pieces and I have now added this shop to my most-hated list. Trying to find anything in there is impossible. I found a slow cooker between the garden shears, hand blenders were scattered all over the shop and so were kitchen scales. I found a mop for the kitchen next to a garden rake. It took me 1 hour to find what I wanted and that was with a plan in my head of what exactly I need. Yikes.

And it was absolutley packed. Did I say I hate shopping ?

After that I decided that I had enough and went home. No more shopping for me for a while. Next soap will have to be whatever Tesco or the local corner shop has for sale. Lard Soap here we come !

2008-12-28T20:36:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted for a while as I xmas got a bit busy with finishing stuff off, getting it to the post and working most of the time. I also started a new hobby - soap making. Anything to keep myself busy and stop pondering and hopefully finally kick the evil habit called smoking. Managed 1 day this week without the evil fags, but then caved in again. Will have to use patches tomorrow.

BF situation is not good. I miss him so much, but he has just gone ice cold again.

On the 23rd he called me absolutley drunk and asked me to come and pick him up. I didn't really feel like it, but went anyway. Couldn't find him where he said he was gonna be, tried ringing him, but he didn't pick up, so I went home, rather angry. 2 hrs wasted a day before xmas. He called the next day and said he had dropped his phone and was too drunk to figure out how to put it back together. It also meant that instead of xmas shopping, he spent all his money on booze. And I don't buy his excuse. If his phone was apart, it wouldn't have been ringing, I would have got a message saying that the phone is currently switched off....

Yesterday we had an argument by text - never a good thing. Apparently he stopped drinking and smoking on the 24th. I wonder why....I bet his family wasn't too pleased not to receive any presents and I guess his dad gave him some money under strict instructions to stop drinking, smoking and seeing me.

Today he hasn't spoken to me at all. No good morning messgae, no nite nite kiss. It hurts.

It also hurts to know, that our relationship went sour because of his drinking and thats why he lives with his dad now. But my only chance to see him was when he was drunk and called me to pick him up. After 3 years of living with him - most of the time drunk and nasty - he has now stopped drinking and I feel like I wont be seeing him again, as he now has no excuse to call me. And his dad hates me, so he will slowly be chipping away on the last little scrap of a relationship that we have....

Anyways, much nicer subject, my first batch of soap went well and it is now curing. I am not a patient person but I will have to wait 4 weeks for it to be ready. Thankfully I also knit, otherwise I'd be very bored now....

Come to me
Do and be done with me
(cold cold cold)
Don't i exist for you
Don't i still live for you
(cold cold cold)
Everything i possess
Given with tenderness
Wrapped in a ribbon of glass
Time it may take us but god only knows
How i've paid for those things in the past

I want to be with you baby
Slip me inside of your heart
Don't i belong to you baby
Don't you know that nothing can tear us apart
Come on now come on now come on now
Telling you that
I loved you right from the start...
But the more i want you the less i get
Ain't that just the way things are...

Annie Lennox - Cold

2008-12-14T08:15:00.000-08:00

Sigh. Last night I had the usual phone call again. Phone rings in the middle of night and the boyfriend asks to be picked up, right now. But last night was the first time I said no. I just couldn't do it anymore. Maybe it would have been different if he was at his dad's, as that's only a 40 min drive from here. But he is at his mum's and that's a 8 hour round trip and I am broke and just cannot justify £60 worth of petrol at the moment just to help him run away from his responsibilities again. Leave alone that I don't have 8 hours spare 1 week before xmas. I love him to bits, but it was going too far. He went mad at me, saying that I don't care about him and that I don't think that he is important, but his blackmailing no longer works. It didn't help that he was drunk and scared, but it just makes me feel used and thats not good. I told him I ring him back today at 2pm and if he still feels the same I get him a train ticket. He rang this morning an apologized for calling, but of course not for trying to blackmail me again. I don't mind him calling, it's the fact that he thinks I can drop everything to get him out of a pickle and that he keeps running away from things which drive me mad. He says he loves me, but I am starting to wonder if he just loves the fact that every time he says "jump" I ask how high. It would have been nice to be able to be with him and give him a big hug and just try and help him get through a tough time, but I have to be at work tomorrow and as I said, I just don't have £60 sapre right now, so he will just have to make do with mummy.

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Mama Cass - Dream a little dream of me

2008-12-13T11:45:00.001-08:00

Ok, just a quick entry today. I need to finish knitting a scarf by tomorrow evening, so it can go into a christmas parcel, but I had a delivery of new yarn this morning which really does not help at all and I ended up knitting at least a swatch of the new yarn.... sigh. But it is soooo pretty.

No song today either, I need to think in knit, purl, knit, purl.....

2008-12-12T13:01:00.000-08:00

Not much to write today. Just been trying to clean this house, but haven't quite finished. I am aiming at a complete "spring"-clean. It needs it.

Boyfriend has caught the same cold my daughter and me had last week. Poor thing, he is probably complaining to his mum that he is dieing of the deadly man-flu....lol, glad he chose to get this cold while at his mum's ;-)

The teenage girl situation is getting out of control. My daughter's best friend decided to run away today and told her mum to f off. I am starting to wonder if it is really such a good idea that my daughter is friends with her, although she seems to have her head screwed on, it is giving her ideas....

Lovin' you is easy 'cause you're beautiful
Makin' love with you is all I want to do
Lovin' you is more than just a dream come true
Everything that I do is out of lovin' you

No one else can make me feel the colors that you bring
Stay with me while we grow old
And we will live each day in springtime

Lovin' you has made my life so beautiful
And every day of my life is filled with lovin' you
Lovin' you I see your soul come shining through
And every time that we ooooh I'm more in love with you

Loving You - Minnie Ripperton

2008-12-11T18:41:00.000-08:00

Another late night and still can't sleep. The cold is getting better, but I am still coughing like it is going out of fashion and it is making me lose my voice periodically - not good when you have a teenage daughter....

As usual I panicked about nothing with my boyfriend, he is just at his mum's where reception is dreadful and he has other things on his mind right now. Silly me. I really need to get rid of this insecurity, it is just so not like me.

Sitting at home all day is not very productive for either blogging or christmas shopping. I really hope that this cold is going away soon.

There are six BILLION people in the world
More or less
and it makes me feel quite small
But you're the one I love the most of all

Katie Meluah - 9 Million Bicycles

2008-12-10T17:55:00.000-08:00

First post of my new online diary.

It is 2am and I probably should be in bed, but I am currently off work with the cold from hell and have been snoozing most of the day and now I am wide awake...and bored....

I miss my boyfriend. Wish he was here right now so we could snuggle up on the sofa and watch movies. He hasn't spoken to me all day and I am not sure what to make of it which really doesn't help with sleeping.

Being a mum to a teenager is not easy. Her best friend has been caught trying to buy weed from a boy at school, which of course makes me worried if my daughter might also be smoking. She is denying it but has admitted to having a drink when she feels stressed. Do they really have to be growing up so fast these days ? She is only 12 !!!! What did we do when we were 12 and stressed ? I can't really remember, which is weird. I guess I just argued with my mom. I thought drinking was more of a problem of growing up in the sticks like I did, but even we didn't start until we were 14. Let's hope things will straighten out.

I miss you every morning
I miss you every night
I miss you most of all when
I wanna be loved just right

Gene Vincent - I sure miss you